maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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