it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
