i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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