I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
