Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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