One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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