no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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