Nicole vs. Life
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
