This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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