West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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