This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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