Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
