Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
