also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
