anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
whose ass print is on the piano?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
