i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
