That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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