when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize
