Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
