She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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