god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
