dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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