Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
