3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
