i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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