Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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