New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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