Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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