he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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