Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's rum buckets o'clock
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
