none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
im six kinds of drunk right now
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
