im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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