Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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