Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
