Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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