My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
