We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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