What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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