It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
