You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
