just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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