Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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