first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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