Duck Duck Cougar?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
