my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I touched a dick in church today
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
