i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
