Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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