shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i think i scared a bird with my dick
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
