oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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