last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
