Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
