ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
