i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
