when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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