If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
