she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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