so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he shaved USA in his pubs
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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