Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
this just has baby written all over it
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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