Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
